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BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - To Raise Stakes, U.S. Army Given One Pick In Each Round Of NBA Draft

NEW YORK, NY — Seeking a way to spice things up after decades of the same draft format and raise the stakes for the players coming into the league, it was announced that the United States Army had been given one pick in each round of this year's NBA Draft.

DAILYCALLER (Andrew Powell) - ESPN NFL Draft Analyst Matt Miller Gets Arm Amputated Following Horrifying Car Accident

Miller was on Route 96 when he was crossing the center line, ultimately colliding with a semi-truck

STRIPES (Svetlana Shkolnikova) - Senators propose abolishing the Selective Service | Stars and Stripes

The senators say the system is costly and a relic, operating with a budget of $31 million to prepare for a draft that has not occurred since 1973.

NYTIMES (Muktita Suhartono and Lauren DeCicca) - Red Card or Black Card? The Conscription Lottery in Thailand.

The draft, which is mandatory for men, is a deeply divisive issue in the country. But volunteer enlistments have soared amid a surge in nationalism and a sluggish economy.

BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Patriots Draft Marriage Counselor In Second Round

PITTSBURGH, PA — With their second-round pick in the 2026 NFL Draft, the New England Patriots have officially selected marriage counselor Amy Connors out of the University of North Texas Clinical Counseling Program.

BITCHUTE - Coachella Kids, Textbook Trump, Draft Ditch-Day | Parent Alert | PragerU

"Where are your parents?" At CA's Coachella Festival, a rapper asks a valid question. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh schools are canceled for the NFL Draft, and an AP American Government textbook controversially equates President Trump with Hitler. Jill Simonian discusses this week's need-to-know headlines for parents.