There have been over 150 episodes of the beloved children's cartoon VeggieTales across all its iterations, but not every idea the writers had made it onto your screens. As with any show, certain scenes and even whole episodes sometimes got left on the cutting room floor.
DALLAS, TX — With the pivotal midterm elections less than two months away, the nation's most prominent members of the Republican Party prepared to gather in Dallas to get advice from the Cowboys on how to blow everything in November.
With millions of Americans struggling to understand how the Lindsay Clancy jury came within a hair's breadth of finding the self-confessed murderer "not guilty", The Babylon Bee investigative team set to work. We interviewed all twelve jurors about the case, and here is what each one had to say:
LUBBOCK, TX — In an effort to better serve residents, one local news station added Chick-Fil-A drive-thru wait times to its morning traffic report.
PHILIPPI — According to sources, the disciples at Lydia's house were shocked to see that Paul had returned from prison covered in tattoos and "totally ripped".
BOSTON, MA — A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent residents to serve as jury members.
U.S. — Women across America honored the passing of feminist icon Gloria Steinem by dropping their kids off at daycare and heading to work for 9 hours at jobs they all claim to hate.
U.S. — Millions of murderers across the country expressed overwhelming optimism today following reports that killing someone is effectively legal, provided the perpetrator informs authorities they were sad.
ANN ARBOR, MI — A highly controversial ending at Michigan Stadium has unfortunately put a slight black eye on the NCAA's otherwise sterling reputation.
NEW YORK, NY — Interviews conducted with employees of CBS News revealed that Editor-in-Chief Bari Weiss was facing internal backlash over allegations that she had attempted to commit actual journalism.