NAPERVILLE, IL — Sources confirmed on Wednesday that a local game group's night of playing classic RISK had now entered its fourth week.
| Channel | t.me/News_Wire |
| Source | https://babylonbee.com/news/game-of-risk-enters-fourth-week/ |
| Keywords | satirebabylon-beecomedyentertainmentfunnyusaabsurdityculture-warparodyhumor |
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, the on-orbit space control weapon revealed on Monday by U.S. military officials was apparently a little triangle that shoots bullets out the front.
DES MOINES, IA — Expressing a desire to escape the monotonous, hum-drum tropical paradise of Oahu, local newlyweds Kai and Leilani Kalani landed at Des Moines International Airport on Monday to begin their seven-day luxury dream honeymoon in exotic Polk County, Iowa.
SAN ANGELO, TX — During a recent prayer group meeting at New Covenant Church, local man Steve Farmer expressed longing for the good old days when all the obscene smut out in the world was heterosexual.
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA — Local man Jim Crest leaned his back against the wall and marveled at the second fridge in his garage, realizing for the first time that he had finally made it in life.
SAVANNAH, GA — Fans at Sunday's Savannah Bananas game at historic Grayson Stadium were shocked to see an element of seriousness infiltrate their beloved sport, as Manager Tyler Gilum publicly chewed out one of his players for not goofing around.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Scandal struck Hollywood this week, as actress and businesswoman Sydney Sweeney attempted to gain support among liberal women by murdering multiple children.
WESTCHESTER COUNTY, NY — As authorities continued to gather information about the rogue band of superpowered individuals known as the X-Men, a new report surfaced that the mutant Wolverine developed his regenerative healing factor to survive the Canadian healthcare system.
GENEVA — A diplomatic council convened over the weekend to vote on a supplement to the Geneva Conventions officially declaring serving on a jury with shrill liberal women a form of torture.
U.S. — Experts speculated this week that the Lindsay Clancy trial had set the feminist movement back several decades, but warned that there could be negative effects as well.