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BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Bears Forced To Leave Chicago After Every Player, Coach, Fan Killed In Drive-Bys

CHICAGO, IL - The Chicago Bears organization announced today that it will be relocating out of the city due to all of its players and fans having been killed in drive-bys.

WASHINGTONPOST (Praveena Somasundaram) - Man dead after driving car into Michigan synagogue, authorities say

Security guards engaged the suspect with gunfire, officials said. One guard was struck by the car and injured; children inside the synagogue were unharmed.

DAILYCALLER (Harold Hutchison) - Leftist Allegedly Carries Out Drive-By BB Gun Shooting After Clash With Pro-ICE Live-Streamers

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