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BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Explosive Diarrhea Epidemic Traced To Gain-Of-Function Lab At Taco Bell Institute

IRVINE, CA — Though initial reports indicated that the recent cyclosporiasis outbreak had happened naturally through people consuming produce contaminated with parasites, officials announced on Wednesday that the explosive diarrhea epidemic had been traced to a gain-of-function lab at the Taco Bell Institute.

NPR (Ari Daniel) - Willy Wonka would love this laboratory that checks the quality of chocolate

The chocolate biz is raising the bar with a lab to assess cacao beans from around the world. (Talk about a sweet gig!) Consumers and farmers stand to benefit from the "Standard of Excellence" program.

NYTIMES (Eric Niiler and John Stember) - Forest Service Research Labs Are Closing

A research lab in Washington State tracks ecological changes in a warming climate and provides scientific guidance for forest managers. It is one of 57 such facilities being shuttered.

JUSTTHENEWS (Natalia Mittelstadt) - Arizona sheriff in Guthrie case pushes back on allegations he is blocking FBI access to evidence

Pima County Sheriff Chris Nanos said that the FBI agreed with his decision to send newly discovered evidence to a private lab in Florida, which has worked with his office for years

JUSTTHENEWS (John Solomon) - Fauci Fallout: New NIH chief says all gain-of-function research stopped, no lockdowns in future

Gain of function research is a controversial form of science that tries to enhance deadly viruses and bacteria to make them more deadly in an effort to study future pandemic responses.