BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - 9 Miracles Jesus Might Have Performed In 2026
NOT SATIRE: Stop the Doom Scroll: Share Jesus
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Xenomorph Queen Freezes Eggs
ARCHERON (LV-426) — A grotesque creature scientists identified as a Xenomorph Queen reportedly elected to freeze its eggs until such time as it becomes "emotionally ready" to have offspring.
| Channel | t.me/News_Wire |
| Source | https://babylonbee.com/news/xenomorph-queen-freezes-eggs/ |
| Keywords | xenomorphaliensci-fiparodybabylon-beexenomorph-queeneggshorrorscience-fictionabsurditypop-culturesatire |
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Scientists Hard At Work Making IPhone Weather App Even Less Accurate
U.S. — The general public breathed a sigh of relief on Monday after it was revealed that a team of top scientists was hard at work trying to come up with a way to make the iPhone weather app even less accurate.
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20
BETHSAIDA — Reports confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth had successfully fed a crowd of 5,000 men, plus women and children, using just five barley loaves and two small fish, achieving an estimated cost-per-serving of approximately $0.0039.
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face
DALLAS, TX — Local husband Mark Higgins stood frozen in his kitchen Thursday morning, staring blankly at a glass jar labeled "Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread" while attempting to figure out if it belonged on his toast or his face.
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Due To Depleted Missile Supply, 'Operation Epic Fury' Downgraded To 'Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury'
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Due to a reportedly depleted supply of ballistic missiles following months of bombardment, military officials confirmed this week that "Operation Epic Fury" had officially been downgraded to "Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury."
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Trump Signs Executive Order To Bring Back Racist Pro Sports Team Names
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday the signing of an executive order to bring back racist pro sports team names, effective immediately.
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - WNBA Coaches Stumped As To What The ‘W’ Stands For
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Coaches across the WNBA spoke to members of the press this week and admitted that they had no idea what the "W" in WNBA stands for.
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - 'Only Elite Assassins Can Do This,' Says Candace Owens Of 6-Month-Old Crawling Across Kitchen Floor
NASHVILLE, TN — Podcast host Candace Owens explained to listeners that only the most highly-trained commandos could execute the crawling technique being shown as she played a video of a six-month-old baby inching across the floor.
BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Mom Decides To Drop Kids Off For First Day Of School Three Weeks Early
DALLAS, TX — Citing extreme mental fatigue, local mother Sarah Jenkins made the decision this week to drop her children off for the first day of school roughly three weeks before the actual first day.