BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - National Weather Service Announces Everyone Is Going To Die Tonight Or Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen, One Of The Two
SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Weather Service issued a weather alert on Monday announcing that tonight, everyone is going to die, or absolutely nothing is going to happen, but it's definitely one of the two.
AXIOS (Marc Caputo) - Scoop: Gallego under federal investigation over campaign spending
Sen. Ruben Gallego (D-Ariz.) is under federal investigation for suspected campaign finance violations, Axios has learned. Why it matters: The investigation could cast a shadow over Gallego's political future as the freshman senator eyes a potential 2028 run for president. - The Justice Department's probe comes after the Senate Ethics Committee closed its inquiry into allegations of sexual misconduct and campaign finance violations after finding no evidence that Gallego violated Senate rules or applicable law, according to a letter released by his office Monday. Driving the news: The DOJ investigation stems from a "whistleblower complaint" out of Southern California, according to a source familiar with the probe. - Gallego used a…
NEWSNATIONNOW (Joe Khalil) - Trial timeline extended for accused WHCD gunman Cole Allen
Prosecutors and the defense agreed Monday to pause the speedy trial clock, giving them more time to review evidence.
NEWSNATIONNOW (Alex Caprariello) - UFC terror plot suspected ringleader to remain in federal custody
A federal judge ruled evidence against Abraham Alvarez is too concerning to allow for his release under any conditions.
NYTIMES (Tyler Pager, Paul Abowd, Jon Miller, Nikolay Nikolov and Gilad Thaler) - Why Trump Is Giving Republicans Midterms Anxiety
Ahead of the midterms, Republicans have sought to focus on the issue of affordability, but the president keeps going off script. Our White House correspondent Tyler Pager explains.
DAILYCALLER (Andrew Powell) - Emmanuel Acho Has Easily One Of Worst Caitlin Clark Takes Of All-Time
This may be the most ignorant sports take of all-time
THEFEDERALIST (Chris Bray) - California Races To Neuter An Office That A Conservative Might Win
"State superintendent will no longer manage California schools under deal Newsom cuts with Legislature."
REDSTATE (Bob Hoge) - 'Election Day' Is Dead: Alito Torches 5-4 Ruling That Killed It
NEWSNATIONNOW (Zach Kaplan) - Idaho yogurt shop defends putting Charlie Kirk's face on products
Days after the conservative influencer was shot and killed, Grooveberries began placing stickers of his face on its cups.