BURBANK, CA — In an effort to win back disgruntled fans, Disney executives announced a brand-new Star Wars film trilogy centered entirely around Jar Jar Binks, one of the most popular characters in the franchise.
BURBANK, CA — Following a precipitous fall at the box office for The Mandalorian and Grogu, reports circulated that Disney executives called an urgent meeting with Lucasfilm to come up with a plan to revive the floundering Star Wars franchise so they could kill it again.
BURBANK, CA — In a surprise movie, The Walt Disney Company announced that it had acquired the rights to the 1990 film Robot Jox in a massive $7 billion deal.
'This is not politics. This is a con. We fully expect Burbank to follow through on her own stated plan and disappear the moment the primary is called.'
BURBANK, CA — Due to some clever thinking by producers of Walt Disney Pictures' live-action Moana remake, the $150 million film was able to save big on its budget by just getting Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson an $8 wig from Spirit Halloween.