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BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet

EDEN — Having gone an inordinate length of time standing watch in the same place for many, many years, the angel guarding the Garden of Eden with a flaming sword reportedly started wondering if he could move yet.

BABYLONBEE (Babylon Bee) - Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women

TEHRAN — With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei was reportedly disappointed to learn that the 72 virgins awaiting him in paradise were all women.

NYTIMES (Danial Adkison) - Is a Private-Island Paradise in Turks and Caicos Worth the Price? I Went to Find Out.

What it’s like to stay on a private island so luxurious that there are no price tags and so quiet that “even the wind feels guilty for making noise.”