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EARTH — Noah's wife came up topside on the ark this morning to dry out laundry, only to catch Noah once again trying to huck the cats overboard.
| Keywords | funnycomedysatirebabylon-beeculture-warreligionchristianitybiblefaithabsurdityabsurdismentertainmentparodysocial-commentarysocial-critique |
DALLAS, TX — A new industry report released Thursday concluded that Chili's persistent reputation problem is due to it being truly awful.
| Keywords | comedysatirefunnyentertainmentculture-wartexasdallaschilisfoodmedia-criticismsocial-commentaryparody |
SAN ANTONIO, TX — Local Uber driver Vish Patel spent hours today searching his phone for the worst possible photo to use in his Uber profile.
| Keywords | funnycomedysatireentertainmentbabylon-beeuberlifestyletexassan-antoniosocial-commentaryparodyabsurdityculture-war |
SINAI — The women of Israel erupted into celebration this week after Moses struck a rock with his staff, causing a torrent of pumpkin spice latte to gush forth.
| Keywords | comedyfunnysatirebabylon-beeculture-warreligionidentity-politicsbiblejesusfaithchristianityentertainmentabsurdityparodysocial-commentarylifestyleusamedia |
GÖBEKLITEPE — The invention of the wheel may lead to massive job loss, according to a caveman who sounded the alarm to warn the rest of caveman society.
| Keywords | funnycomedysatireparodyculture-warentertainmentsocial-commentarytechaihistoryabsurditybabylon-beeeconomypop-culture |
NAPERVILLE, IL — Sources confirmed on Wednesday that a local game group's night of playing classic RISK had now entered its fourth week.
| Keywords | satirebabylon-beecomedyentertainmentfunnyusaabsurdityculture-warparodyhumor |
Everyone needs to hear the Gospel, even kids. But it's sometimes hard to get them to pay attention when you're trying to talk Bible.
| Keywords | funnycomedychristianityreligionfaithgospelbiblebible-versesjesusgodfamilykidsparentingculture-warentertainmentsatireparodyamerican-culturelifestylesocial-commentaryinternetmedia |
HEAVEN — In an unbelievable turn of events, a man on his deathbed professed belief in Jesus Christ and secured his Heavenly reward with just 0.4 seconds left on his life clock.
| Keywords | babylon-beecomedyfunnyreligionchristianityjesusheavenfaithsatireculture-warentertainmentfunnyusamerican-culturespiritualitytheologyparodysocial-commentary |
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, the on-orbit space control weapon revealed on Monday by U.S. military officials was apparently a little triangle that shoots bullets out the front.
| Keywords | comedysatirehumorfunnyusmilitarywashington-dcspaceweapontechnologyentertainmentparodyabsurditysocial-commentary |
Raising a toddler can be a challenge, but entertaining your toddler can be even more difficult. It's not uncommon for parents to run out of ideas for ways to keep kids busy. The Babylon Bee is here to help.
| Keywords | funnycomedysatireentertainmentparentingfamilykidstoddlerlifestyleculture-warsocial-commentaryparodybabylon-beeinternet-culture |