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MARBLE FALLS, TX — A local church found itself under fire this week after this year's Vacation Bible School theme centered around the biblical book ook of Judges, complete with lessons on murder by jawbone and swords engulfed in belly fat.
SAN JOSE, CA — After years of therapy, a local man finally achieved a major breakthrough in determining the source of his trauma: watching Don Bluth's The Secret of NIMH from 1982.
MOUNT SINAI — In light of continued encouragement that the Israelites would enter a land "flowing with milk and honey," one local Reubenite, later identified as Dathan son of Eliab, decided he should probably keep quiet about the fact that he doesn't particularly care for milk or honey.
| Keywords | satirebabylon-beehumorparodysocial-commentaryreligionisraelitesmount-sinaireubenitedathaneliabbiblicalancient-historyjokefunnysocial-issues |
U.S. — Before allowing customers to fill up with gas, pumps will now ask about a potential car wash, rewards membership, fuel additives, and the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
| Keywords | comedyfunnyentertainmentsatireparodyhumorpoliticsususagasolinegroceriesconsumerismeconomyinflationtechnologypop-cultureabsurditysocial-commentarylife-hack |
U.S. — The fires currently burning inside the nation's dumpsters spoke out publicly on Tuesday to condemn their being compared to the Boston Red Sox.
| Keywords | babylon-beesatirecomedyred-soxbostonbaseballmlbsportshumorparodysocial-commentaryususadumpster-fire |
WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump's incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country for a few weeks and then give them $300 billion.
| Keywords | trumppoliticshumorsatireforeign-policyworld-leadersusmoneygeopoliticscomedyparodywhite-houseadministrationwashington-dcinternational-relationsfunny |
MADISON, WI — Local man Brad Pulman admitted to friends that all the knowledge he has ever obtained about classical music he received by watching classic Bugs Bunny cartoons.
| Keywords | bugs-bunnyclassical-musiccartoonmadisonwisconsinbabylon-beesatirecomedyhumorentertainmentfunnymediacultureabsurdityparody |
Homeschool families used to be easy to spot, as twenty years ago the kids were all giant dorks. These days, it's a lot more difficult to figure out. Take a close look at this picture and see if you can spot all seven clues that this is a homeschool family:
| Keywords | satirebabylon-beehumorparodyhomeschoolingparentingfamilysocial-commentarylifestyleeducationsocietykidsparenthoodrelatable |
LONDON — In an ongoing effort to balance religious freedom and public safety, the government of the United Kingdom decided to grant exemptions for committed Muslims who wish to don suicide vests for religious and ceremonial purposes.
| Keywords | ukunited-kingdombritainlondonmuslimislamreligionreligious-freedomsuicide-vestsgovernmentpolicysatirehumorbabylon-beepoliticssocial-commentaryparodyfunnyred-green-axis |
LONDON — According to sources, Prime Minister Keir Starmer set up a commission to discern how best to respond to the attempted beheading in Belfast. UPDATE: The members of the commission have been beheaded.
| Keywords | satirebabylon-beehumorparodykeir-starmerukunited-kingdomlondonbelfastnorthern-irelandcommissionbeheadingviolencepoliticssocial-commentaryreligionislamred-green-axis |